In my professional life, problem-solving with technology, I almost always start with a set of assumptions and base my initial actions on those. If I’m lucky, I’m right. A rote solution works.

If I’m not lucky, I still win. I learn a new method, or a new perspective, or new patience. My knowledge in some respect will deepen. I have the relative luxury of rebuilding my model of the problem and restarting steps to resolution.

I have finally understood that this same approach in personal relationships is so wrong and so ineffective. It’s best to start with no assumptions. No reactions. And no talking until I get it.

And I suppose here, too, I’ve had the luxury of people tolerant of my quirks.

I thought I knew how to listen, but I see I can do better.

And then I need to ask, is there more I should know?