@pimoore I have complicated relationship with my name, too. Whether or not you were to legally change your name, you certainly have every right to be called something that you feel is meaningful, empowering, or enjoyable. Cultures have differnet customs with names. Some shed birth names at adulthood. Some names arrive after an initiation. It seems like you have been through plenty. And if I may make a strange suggestion, expressing yourself pseudonymously, through a pen name, can help validate your feelings about who you really are.